This week Quin and his fellow Preps made “Worry Dolls.” Gorgeous little wooden dolls made from pegs, pipe cleaners, cloth and string. Quin’s understanding of why they had made these dolls was that, “You can give the dolls anything that you’re scared about. Just say Mummy that something, when you think about it makes you feel frightened in your tummy…..well then you just tell the doll to take that worry and make it better.”
That night I contemplated how clever this project had been and how as a parent sometimes we forget that little people do “hold” fears and concerns. Obviously there are times when their fears are blindingly obvious and we stop the world to listen to their woes and yet with a process like this, little ones can ‘hand-over’ their concerns well before their forehead is set with a FURROW.
How beautifully proactive. This process sets a foundation for meditation and self-soothing.
So often if my children have a problem I find myself desperate to take the ball and solve their issues for them. Wonderful parenting courses such as Parent Effectiveness Training and other parenting books have taught me to STOP and Remember Who Owns The Problem!?!
We do not empower our children with life skills by taking their problems and running with them. I have to tell myself all the time – “Jen Put The Ball Down….This Is Not Your Issue!”
This one parenting tool alone saves me oodles of stress. Ironically all my boys want from me half the time is to sit down, let them crawl into my lap and simply listen to them. To rrrreeeeaaaallllyyyy listen. (The emphasis is for myself because this isn’t always easy). To not offer solutions… Just listen, hold their hand, nod and look them in the eyes. My attention is the greatest gift I can give them when any problem arises.
Back to the dolls. Then next evening with dolls in hand, Quin and I talked about how the dolls are really just a symbol as he had worked himself into a lather moments before because he could not find the worry dolls. His 2 year old brother had borrowed them and I contemplated how perhaps we needed a worry doll for the worry dolls. Anyway we talked about how if he learnt to “hand-over” problems to his Spirit or to God at such a beautiful young age, his life would be like the best dessert he could ever imagine.
I told him how as an adult I was still having trouble remembering to ‘hand-over’ my problems. He chuckled as I described that some days I literally walk around in circles worrying about something and THEN I remember to sit down and see myself giving each of my problems over to spirit. Pretending to be like a damsel in distress I dramatised how then my life becomes all peachy again.
It is funny isn’t it how things always seem so easy when we explain them to children? Lenedra Carroll (mother of famous singer Jewel) in her book “Architecture of All Abundance” explains a meditative process of imaging yourself sitting at the bottom of a lake and letting each worry go just as if it is a balloon. Allowing yourself to simply watch each balloon glide through the water all the way to the top.
When I commit to letting problems go and when I commit to focusing on the moment at hand – my life becomes much more blissful. There is no benefit in worrying about past or future events –they are beyond my control (Believe Me, there are days where I Can Waste Some Time Worrying).
All I can do, all any of us can do, is focus on seeing the blessings and opportunities in the now.
Meditating allows me to remember that I have the full support of the universe and I am not alone.
Do you need a worry doll?
Would your life be easier if you let some of those worries and concerns go??