Yes, by Mojo I mean libido! …. I did contemplate titling this blog “Get Your Mojo Back Ladies”—with the emphasis on ladies because I have to wonder if men ever loose their Mojo?? I mean I’m not sure, perhaps, but you rarely hear about it.
What I do know though is that many, many women seem to loose their libido and some women don’t seem to fussed about it either.
I am blessed to have many sisters, girlfriends and clients and everyone’s story is different. Some women are both emotionally and physically disconnected from their partners and they are not distressed about it. There’s always a cost for a lack of communication. These women are happy in ‘companion-style’ relationships and don’t seem to miss the sex. They report that exercise gives them all the ‘release’ they need. Hmmm…..if this is the case then clearly I need to change my running style !!
(When they told me this I couldn’t stop chuckling, but they were very serious!! Fit, fit women….who give interesting technique advice.)
Other women are physically disconnected from their partners as a result of lack of communication about their needs. They are longing for emotional connection (space from children, day to day tasks etc) and withholding sex is a secret cry for quality partner time. Time passes and they realise they have to decide on the outcome they want to move towards.
Then there are the women who are so physically and emotionally depleted from young children, that having sex is the furtherest thing from their mind. I can remember being so tired a few years back that I used to joke with Simon as I crawled into bed, “Honey help yourself if you like but I am going to sleep.” True story. He used to smile wickedly at me in the morning just to keep me wondering!!
Now the first two scenarios require a different setting than this blog, some clarity may come from the blog “How does it serve you to be stressed or unhappy?”. I would however, like to discuss the last scenario -being exhausted and maintaining your relationship.
Having the energy to ‘give’ to small children, your partner or other loved ones comes from the nurturing rituals you prioritise for yourself. Again we discussed some of these in the above mentioned blog . But when pure exhaustion hits I have TWO GOLDEN TIPS……
1) firstly catch up on sleep whatever way you can, then you’ll be more inclined to start some nurturing rituals again.
Ask family or friends to assist. Either send the kids off (if old enough) and prepare for two days of sleeping and resting at home uninterrupted, or pack you and your groom up for a weekend away somewhere quiet, with no plans other than sleep and rest. If children are very little, then beg and grovel to have family bring them to you in shifts.
2) arrange some Chines herbs.
I can’t sing the praises of Chinese Herbs enough. Over the last ten ‘childbearing’ years, I have repeatedly used these herbs and cannot describe how powerful they are. As women we underestimate just how much life energy is required to grow and sustain a baby. Having had five babies and having breast-fed four for extended periods, my body is still in recovery mode. Arlo is two and a half, he stopped breast feeding at 12 months of age and yet according to my TCM practitioner my blood is still very weak (being passionate about my work and as a result, getting little sleep, doesn’t help!).
Every time I go on another dose of herbs within days Simon looks at me and asks, “Are you on those herbs again?” He loves it because Chinese herbs literally have you firing on all cylinders. Which can mean, in addition to loads of energy, that you get that primal libido back. You move from ‘whenever sex’ to ‘yes please sex!’.
I’m serious, if you’re exhausted all the time, worried your lack your mojo might be becoming an issue, then try some TCM herbs. Let me add – many of girlfriends swear by them too!!!
If the mojo is far from your mind then just start with the herbs and rediscover having energy again.
Wishing you health and happiness